Ask Soniya

  A Letter From the Woman Who Never Gets to Say, “I’m Tired” Dear All, I don't know exactly when it happened. When I became the person who remembers everything. The school timings. The doctor's appointment. The grocery list. The birthday. The bill that needs to be paid. The shirt that needs ironing tomorrow. The food someone doesn't like. The food someone suddenly wants. The message that needs replying. The relative who needs checking on. The thing my husband mentioned three days ago and has probably already forgotten. Somehow, I remember. I always remember. And somehow, everyone knows that I will. My day starts before everyone else's The house is quiet when I wake up. For a few minutes, nobody needs anything from me. Then my mind starts. Breakfast. Lunch. School. Uniforms. Bags. Water bottles. Who has homework? Who has an activity today? What needs to be bought? What needs to be cleaned? What did I forget yesterday? And before my feet e...

  Why “I’m Fine” Can Become a Habit Sometimes “I’m fine” isn’t an answer. It’s a habit we learn to use when we don’t know what else to say. “How are you?” “I’m fine.” It’s one of the most automatic conversations we have. We say it when we’re tired. We say it when we’re overwhelmed. We say it when something is bothering us but we don’t have the words to explain it. And sometimes, we say it because we simply don’t want to be asked another question. There is nothing wrong with saying “I’m fine.” Sometimes you genuinely are. But when “I’m fine” becomes your automatic response even when you aren't feeling okay , it may be worth pausing and asking yourself why. When “I’m fine” becomes your emotional shield For many people, hiding difficult emotions can become a learned response. Maybe you grew up believing you had to be strong. Maybe you didn't want to worry your family. Maybe you felt that your problems weren't “big enough” to deserve attention. Maybe every time ...

Sometimes, after taking care of everyone in the family, we look at ourselves and wonder…when was the last time I did something only for me? Family responsibilities never really end. There is always another meal to prepare, another room to clean, another school assignment to check, another bill to pay or someone waiting for our attention. We keep moving from one responsibility to another, believing that taking care of ourselves can wait. But for how long? Self-care is not selfishness. It is the fuel that keeps us going. STOP WAITING FOR FREE TIME Many of us think we will take care of ourselves when we get some free time. Believe me, that “free time” may never arrive unless we intentionally create it. You do not need an entire day at a spa or an expensive holiday. Sometimes, twenty peaceful minutes with a cup of tea, a short walk, a good book or simply sitting quietly can refresh your mind. Start small…but start. SHARE THE RESPONSIBILITIES A family is a team, not a one-person army. Discu...