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  There comes a point in some relationships when the biggest question is no longer: “How do I change this person?” It becomes: “How do I protect myself without becoming someone I am not?” Because dealing with toxic people can change you. You may become quieter. More suspicious. More defensive. More anxious. You may start over explaining everything. You may lose confidence in your own decisions. You may become so busy managing somebody else’s moods that you stop noticing your own. And sometimes, without realising it, you start behaving in ways that do not even feel like you. This is why dealing with toxic people is not only about protecting yourself from them. It is also about protecting yourself from what the situation is turning you into. First, Stop Trying to Make Them Understand Everything This was one of the hardest things for me to understand. We often think: If I explain it properly, they will understand. If I stay calm, they will understand. If I give one more example, they ...

  Don’t Wait Until the Final Burnout 1. Burnout Rarely Arrives Without Warning Burnout does not always begin with a breakdown. Sometimes it begins with small things. You wake up after eight hours of sleep but still feel tired. You become irritated when someone asks you a simple question. You stop replying to messages because even typing “I am fine” feels exhausting. You lose interest in things you once enjoyed. You continue doing everything expected of you, but inside, you feel nothing. You tell yourself: It is just a busy week. I only need one good night’s sleep. Everyone is tired. Why am I making such a big issue out of it? So, you ignore the signs. But here is the harsh truth: your body and mind will keep whispering for some time. If you refuse to listen, eventually they may start screaming. Please do not wait for that final scream. 2. What Is Burnout? 2.1 The Official Meaning The World Health Organization describes burnout as a result of chronic workplace stress that has not be...

I Matter Too Before you read this, I would request you to read my previous blog on generational trauma: Can We Unlearn What We Learnt from Our Mothers and Grandmothers? This post is not a separate conversation. It is the voice that rises after we finally recognise what generations of women have been silently carrying. We girls are introduced to forgetting ourselves so early that, after a while, it no longer feels like sacrifice. It feels normal. We watch the women before us eat after everyone else, rest after everyone else and think about themselves only after every other need in the house has been fulfilled. We learn to adjust before we even understand what adjustment means. We learn to lower our voices, swallow our disappointment and smile at decisions in which nobody thought it necessary to include us. And slowly, quietly, we become women who take a back seat in our own lives. The Invisible Training Begins Early A girl is often praised for being obedient, accommodating and mature b...

  Can We Unlearn What We Learned From Our Mothers and Grandmothers? “Don’t answer back.” “Learn to adjust.” “Keep the family together.” “Good women don’t complain.” “Think about what people will say.” Most women have heard some version of these sentences while growing up. Sometimes they were spoken gently. Sometimes they came as warnings. And sometimes no one needed to say them at all—we learned them simply by watching the women around us. We watched our mothers eat after everyone else had finished. We watched our grandmothers forgive without receiving an apology. We watched women hide their exhaustion, silence their anger and continue serving people who rarely stopped to ask, “But how are you?” Slowly, sacrifice became our definition of love. Silence became our definition of strength. And abandoning ourselves became our definition of being a “good woman.” But can we unlearn what we learned from our mothers and grandmothers? I believe we can. The harder question is: Are we ready to...

  You’re Allowed to Outgrow the Version of You That Kept Everyone Happy There comes a point in life when being “the easy one” starts to feel… exhausting. The one who understands everyone. The one who adjusts. The one who says, “It’s okay,” even when it isn’t. The one who keeps quiet because speaking up might create tension. The one who changes plans, swallows disappointment, forgives quickly, explains endlessly, and somehow always finds a way to make things easier for everybody else. People may even praise you for it. You’re so understanding. You never create problems. You always think about everyone. And for a while, you might wear those words like compliments. Until one day you realise something uncomfortable: Everyone is comfortable with you… except you. And maybe that is when you begin to change. Not dramatically. Not overnight. Just quietly. You start saying no. You stop explaining every decision. You notice how tired you are after conversations where you constantly have to s...