Ask Soniya

Living With a Narcissist: When Love Starts Feeling Like a Trap There are some relationships that hurt loudly. And then there are relationships that slowly rearrange your mind. You do not notice the damage in one dramatic moment. You notice it in the way you stop trusting yourself. In the way you rehearse conversations before speaking. In the way you apologise for things you did not do. In the way you start feeling guilty for having needs. In the way one person slowly becomes the centre of the relationship—and you become the person constantly adjusting around them. Living with someone who shows strong narcissistic traits can feel exactly like that. And before I go any further, one thing is important. The word narcissist is used very casually these days. Someone being selfish, arrogant, insensitive or difficult does not automatically mean they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That is a clinical diagnosis that should only be made by a qualified mental-health professional. But whet...

  How to Tell If Someone Is Toxic or You’re Just Overreacting There is a very confusing stage in some relationships when you stop asking: “Why is this person treating me like this?” and start asking: “Am I the problem?” Maybe I am too sensitive. Maybe I misunderstood. Maybe I expected too much. Maybe I should have stayed quiet. Maybe I overreacted. Maybe I am the difficult one. And slowly, without even realising it, you stop questioning their behaviour and start questioning yourself. That, for me, is one of the most damaging parts of dealing with a toxic person. Not always the argument. Not always the insult. Sometimes it is simply the confusion they leave behind. Because toxic people are not always obviously cruel. Some are charming. Some are loving. Some are extremely professional. Some are respected by everyone around them. Some know exactly when to smile, when to apologise and when to make you look like the unreasonable one. That is why recognising toxicity is not always easy. ...